Marriage Traditions

Najat Habash

عدسة جورج عرب

All Bakhdida marriages were mostly arranged marriage. The parents of the groom first inquire about the girl and her family, if satisfied they request a neighbour or a close friend of the girl’s family to ask for her hand. The girl’s family too inquires about the boy and his family. If interested they send a yes answer and the two families start to prepare for the wedding day.

Upon acceptance, boy’s family then chooses a date to meet with the girl’s family. During their get together they agree on dowry (KLETA), gold and clothes (JAHOZI). Most of these expenses are paid by the boy and his family.

The dowry nowadays is mostly cash given by the boy to the girl’s family, gold and clothes are bought for the girl. Extra gifts especially fabric pieces are also bought for relatives. Each of them buys for their relatives from their own money.

At engagement party the boy’s family and relatives celebrate at the girl’s house, food and drink is served locally known SHTAIED KHATKHA.

From the date of the engagement to the date of marriage boy’s family pay visits to the girl’s family on Sundays and holidays carrying gifts for the bride.

Before marriage the boy’s family, relatives and friends have lunch at the girl’s house locally known BATHOLE DE CHHAZ and on this day the bride puts on her gold. She is then invited to each of her friend’s house locally known KRAIA to have meal and a gift, this tradition is similar to bride shower in the west.

عدسة جورج عرب

Bakhdida marriages took place on Sundays. On the Friday evening of the week of marriage the bride invites her friends over at her house to have a meal or essentially sandwich with them locally known SAPOIA. Each friend is given a little amount of henna dye wrapped in paper for coloring their hands the next day.

الوسيم

At the groom's house on this week they sing and dance local songs using drums locally known KEFF.

On Saturday, in the evening the groom’s family, friends and relatives accompanied by drummer and trumpeter dance to the bride's home dying her hand with henna locally known SWATA. All children enjoy this night dying their hands and wrapping it with cloth until the next morning.

The bride and groom had to confess and get Holy Communion before their marriage.

صورة من عدنان بهنام

On Sunday evening groom’s family again accompanied by the musicians, friends and relatives dance to get the bride from her house to the church for the wedding ceremony locally known BARAKHTA. After the ceremony the newly weds board a car to go around the whole town for three times then to the groom's house.” In the olden days before cars were introduced the newly weds rode horses if the groom could afford it and the less fortunate rode donkeys. A close relative has the honor to carry the bride on the animal’s back; bride’s head was fully covered with a bright scarf known HABRIA”.

كرم حسو

Back to the groom’s house at the front door an animal is slain in front of the couple, stepping on it in to the house and showered from the terrace of the house with coins, sweets and nuts.

عدسة نجاة حبش

The festivities start and everyone enjoy food, drink and lots of nuts. The groom is showered with especially cash gifts. On this night people hesitate to sleep fearing their faces be painted while asleep with black ashes. The black ashes were collected from the outer bottom of the cooking pans that were used for cooking large amounts of meat, chick peas, broad beans and other stuff on bonfire.

The next day bride’s family, friends and relatives have lunch at groom’s house locally known SABAHIA and in the evening it is the other way around the groom’s family enjoy a meal at the bride’s home locally known JARARA, the bride stays with her family for few days.

Again festivities start when the groom and his friends bring the bride back to her in law’s house locally known DARA.

For economical reasons and the wars that Iraq endured most of these traditions are not in practice anymore.